Generational Sins and Blessings

Sometimes dealing with broken situations is really difficult for me because the messiness that comes with them is taxing, and the hope of the light at the end of the tunnel easily becomes faint.

While the Lord has healed much of the brokenness in my family, there is still a long road to go.  During the season leading up to Benson’s and my wedding we were dealing heavily with the effects of the brokenness in each of our families.  It was extremely hard and often filled me with anxiety and stress.

I’ve spent the last 10 years cleaning up the trail left by my dad’s sinful affair.  If any of you have experienced the loss of a parent in some form or another (for me it was the loss of a parent in the nucleus of our family), you know how heavy the burden is when family member roles get shifted.  I’ve lived with the weight of taking care of both my mom and my brother and have spent almost half of my life worrying about my mom being lonely.  If you’ve been in a situation like this, you know the guilt that comes with moving away from home…and how much stronger is that guilt when you get married.

Benson’s family has a similar story, though the breaking is actually far from being done there.  Nevertheless, we both feel strong obligations to our moms and acutely feel the weight of having to pick up the slack that our dads have left.

Maybe you can imagine how hard it was to think of having to “leave” my family and “cleave” to my new husband.  I even wondered how God could be so cruel and ask me to leave my family.  But my wondering shortly turned to bitterness by the thought that “leaving and cleaving” was only meant for healthy families, the kind of families God intended in a sinless world.  What about families that are horribly broken?  What about those?  How the hell are you supposed to feel okay about leaving those?

Before our wedding some friends prayed over us something so beautiful that I need to write about it so I always remember it.  First, someone prayed that Benson’s and my relationship would be the end of generational sin in our family lines.  Generational sin is a sin that’s passed on from generation to generation.  In my family it’s bitterness.  Look closely at my family and you’ll find that through out our bloodline everyone struggles with bitterness.  Kind of crazy.  In Benson’s family, it’s unfortunately broken marriages.  I guess it’s interesting to note…and maybe you could start paying attention to generational sins so that you can be aware of the sin that’s in your family line and let God put an end to it.

Anyway, I love the idea of our union being the end of generational sin.

What was even more beautiful to me, though, was that after the person prayed for the end of generational sin they declared that our relationship would be the beginning of generational spiritual blessings.  When they prayed that I felt a renewal of hope and an excitement for leaving and cleaving.  Leaving and cleaving now seemed like a redemptive opportunity to pass on a legacy of spiritual blessing and further redemption for all the crap and brokenness we’ve had to go through…and are still going through.  I love the idea that our relationship will not only be the end of much generational sin but that it is the beginning of a legacy of blessing.  It’s not just that all the crappy weeds get pulled out of the garden, but the garden can produce beautiful flowers and strong, healthy, fruitful trees as well.  We have a chance to turn things around, not just momentarily for our own family’s current brokenness, but also for the generations after us.  How great is the Lord.

I love that the Lord can redeem things even when they look like dead ends.  He can end generations of sinful habits, and he also allows a time for renewal and experiencing the fullness of the abundant life he gives, just like he intended.  The work of the Lord is so, so beautiful.

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9 Comments

Filed under faith & hope, marriage

9 responses to “Generational Sins and Blessings

  1. daniellui

    amen to that prayer, cuz. I stand in prayerful agreement with that friend :).

  2. right on…
    … this is something i think of a lot… whether generational sin can end at me. i pray to God, yes. literally.

  3. Virginia

    I’ve been praying for the past 10 or so years for cutting off all the roots of immorality that passed down through the generations from the family from your generation on. Bless you and Benson to start a new generation of a blessed heritage that will honor and serve God…

  4. jaron

    that’s awesome. the work of the lord is definitely beautiful. can’t wait to see how you and benson will be a blessing to so many people in this lifetime 🙂

  5. Bernice

    wow that’s so much deep revelation right there!!

    amen to all that 🙂 andd i think another huge generational sin in the fam is pride, which is a huge reason why it results in broken marriages. but it’s so crazily obvious how distinct you and goh’s marriage are from every marriage in our fam 🙂 goh is an actual godly man and knows how to lead and be humble at the same time (i think?:)) anyways, God’s totally blessed you guys with amazing mentors, community, accountability, everythingggg and you guys are the role model for the tons of ppl in our generation who have no idea what marriage and relationships should look like 🙂 and as long as you guys got God, you’ll be the psalm 1 couple 😀

    i love your blogs audreyyy i wish you would blog more they are so encouraging to read!

  6. Isabelle

    Audrey, I kept on wanting to share with you in person but since I don’t know when I will see you next, I figure I will finally leave a comment here.

    I just want to say thank you for writing this. I read this when I was 20 and I was moved by it. When I re-visited this at age 25, around the same age as when you were going through the pre-marital season, it spoke into my life so much more. In this season leading up to the wedding, we’ve faced many deeply rooted family issues (my side, at least), and your writing really got me think about the generational sins and blessings – examining what our families’ generational sins are and how we want to end them and go on to begin another generation of blessings. I shared about this post during our pre-marital counseling with my pastor too. Years later, the words still continue to impact and bless others. I know you definitely have blessed me. I just want to say thank you!

    • Isabelle

      Note: I forgot to mention that in addition to generational sins and blessings, the difficulty of obligation vs. “leave and cleave” that you wrote about also really resonated with me. I meant just about everything you wrote about here spoke into my life! Ha. Before, I never really thought about how difficult the “leave and cleave” process would be, until I reached this season. It definitely hasn’t been easy to be setting healthy boundaries in preparation for marriage, but it’s a process and we (my parents, John, and me) are all growing through it. Anyway, thanks for the blessing and encouragement, again.

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