moomooaudrey

Holy cow.  We’re gonna start tracking my songs at the end of this month!  So nuts.  I think it’ll be a 5 song EP, so a mini CD.  Good enough to get my feet wet, I think…and just about all I can handle time-wise right now!

So here’s a little taste of what it’s about…

The songs mostly tell stories of me wrestling with God as I fight to hold onto faith, hope, and love while trying to make sense of the already-but-not-yet world we live in.

In some form or another, they’re rooted in all of the questions that have come up for me as I’ve waited to see God’s Kingdom break into my family.  Some of them directly, others indirectly, but still rooted in the same struggle I just mentioned–the tension of God’s Kingdom being already here but not yet fully present–and what that means to us as we wait on the Lord.

A few years ago my friend Katie gave me a shawl that she got from Africa which Heidi Baker and crew used to pray for broken families.  Katie thought it appropriate to get one for me as I continued to pray for wholeness in my family.

The shawl she got for me had various shades of green that transcended from lighter shades to darker ones.  In the darkest shade there were flowers in full bloom, and Katie felt the Lord tell her to call it “Midnight Bloom” since it was out of the darkest places that the flowers grew, bloomed, and blossomed.  It was encouragement to me for my family that even in the midnight when things seem dark, lonely, and hopeless the Lord can and will grow something beautiful out of it.

So I’m calling the project “Midnight Bloom” because these songs come out of a lot of questioning and dark places, and through them I’m fighting to hold on until I can see the beauty that comes from it all.

So, here it is.  Some news…I’m FINALLY going to record my music!

It’s taken years for me to work through my many insecurities, from simply being insecure about writing talent, guitar ability, and sharing my heart for it to be critiqued, all the way to even being insecure in asking people to be part of the project.  What if it’s a waste of their time because they don’t like the music?  Even though people have told me they wanted to be a part of it, how much did they really mean it?  How can I ask people to sacrifice their time for ME?  So many insecurities…but finally, FINALLY!

It’s taken years, but it’s actually going to happen this time.  I’m in far enough that I can’t get out of it, so now I feel free to tell people.  Three weeks ago I jammed with the guys who are going to play on the project, and it was the first time I had heard these songs with a full band.  I had to keep reminding myself that these guys actually really want to be there, and that playing with other musicians that they vibe with and being able to have a skeleton of a song to create within is actually something they all love to do.  It was helpful that Jaron kept asking me when we were gonna start the project because it reassured me that he was genuinely excited for it.  And it’s even more helpful that Jaron and Chucky keep telling me how excited they are for it now that we’ve all jammed together.  The jam session felt really good, so I’m excited for it!

This project isn’t a worship album, though many of my songs are sung to God.  It’s mostly about how I’ve wrestled with God for the last few years through disillusionment, disappointment, and despair.  But…more to that in a future post in which I tell you all the title of the CD. 

Anyway, still trying to figure out if it’s gonna be like a 4-song EP or if there will be a few more tracks on it.  Also still trying to figure out what to do with a couple of worship songs and whether or not they fit.

I find it slightly ridiculous that this year, an Urbana year in which my schedule is absolutely crazy, is the season that I’m recording a CD.  I told God that if he really wanted me to do it this year then he would have to supernaturally give me the ability to in regards to my time.  He is, he is.  And I’m actually finding so much LIFE in it.  I forget how much I LOVE creating sometimes.

Well, there you go.  I’ll probably update more often to blog about how the project is coming along.  I anticipate being able to blog more because the posts won’t have to be as intense as normal!  Haha.